Question by Love: Was marriage counseling a mistake??? Or should i have just left him for good? He wanted marriage counseling…?
I don’t know what to do. We have only been together for a year and a half and we have so many problems. I love my husband but slowly i am losing my love for him.

I have found out either by confession or admitting, about all of these things since we’ve been together and i am drained of energy because he is always causing stress in our marriage and im sick of it.
I’m 21 and he is 30.

*I found out that he had a drug problem. He hid it for a year and i had no idea. He was buying drugs from an 18 year old girl and doing about 20 vicodin pills a day. I told him if he didn’t stop i would leave him, so he stopped, no questions asked.

*Throughout our relationship we don’t have sex very often. He recently confessed that the reason we don’t have sex is because he has been hiding a porn addiction from me. One of his porn videos was called “18 and in training” which i think is gross. He knew from the the moment he met me that i didn’t like porn.

*He recently confessed that when we do have sex, he thinks about other girls. In particular, one girl, which he met at work and had a crush on but never talked to her or hung out with her. Its been 3 years since then, and he said when we have sex about 1 out of every 3 times we have sex, he thinks of her during it.

————————————–…

The positives of our marriage are:

* I love him and he is my best friend and vice versa.

* He is very affectionate and we love spending time together.

* He has always helped me take care of my mother who has Alzheimer’s.

* He supports me so i can go to school full time.

I don’t know what to do. There is a part of me that wants to just leave for good but another part of me that wants it to work because he says he wants help and wants to be together forever.

We just started seeing a marriage counselor recently and i don’t know if i regret it…..

Best answer:

Answer by Michelle
This is tough, it sounds like there are some serious issues you (as husband and wife) need to address. I don’t think anyone on here is qualified to tell you what you SHOULD do. My advice would be to seek out a personal counselor yourself (in addition to the marriage counseling) and really sort through your own feelings. A marriage counselor will help you with your relationship, but maybe you need to figure out what you want by yourself (with the support of a therapist) first?

Best of luck to you! (HUGS)

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