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Please Help. I Need Advice..?

Question by Nunya: please help. i need advice..?
I’m unhappy with my life, Sometimes I want to cut/kill myself. I’ve tried cutting in the past but now they make me want to do it again and kill myself. My family constant fights everyday and I cry a lot. I was physically abused by them and by other relatives before. They’re still abusive verbally; my family has been abusive physically/emotionally since I was a little kid.

I feel very sad about my life. I feel like im stuck here. My family doesn’t care about how I feel. They call me stupid, slow, ugly among other horrible names. They don’t understand that im a grown woman and am capable of making my own decisions.

I kissed [we didn’t even do anything else] one of my good friends who I’ve known for almost a year. My family found out I had hickeys on my neck. That was my first kiss and I enjoyed it. I’ve never even kissed a guy ever besides him. He means a lot to me. They then called me a s(lut, wh(ore, when im not. They also claim that instead of going to school I don’t go to my classes and instead go out with guys and sleep with them. As you can see, they constantly make up stuff about me. They constantly invade in my life.

They are also very controlling. My mom even follows me to some places. One day I was at college and the next thing I know she came to my school and actually followed me AKA stalked me. She said that she doesn’t believe me when I hang out. She thinks Im lying all the time and tells me all guys are bad when not all of them are. My family doesn’t like when im happy. Whenever I hang out with friends, they say mean things, like “why are you hanging out with them?” “What will they do for you?” “They’ll kill you” “you don’t need any friends” stuff like that which is all untrue.

I can’t even go to a psychologist/counselor because they require money. My family doesn’t want me to see any and hate when I try to improve my life. They don’t like the fact that im in school. They are selfish. They always put me down. Every time I try to be positive they tell me I shouldn’t. They constantly start arguments with me when I do NOTHING wrong.

I’m in college but I don’t think I’ll be able to go anymore because I don’t have any money and I have past balances that are due that I have to pay. I can’t receive assistance from financial aid/grants because my dad has made a lot of income, which he never shares, and im under 24 (im 21). I’ve tried applying for financial aid before, but they didn’t accept me. I’m not into learning trades, that wouldn’t be something I see myself doing and I don’t have time for that.

I want a job for income and to keep me busy. I also don’t want to be like my parents who are unsuccessful. I don’t have a vehicle to get to places for a job. I don’t know how to take busses/trains either. I don’t want to live this same kind of life. It’s been this way ever since I was born. I have some friends but even when I hang out with them my family especially my mom makes a big deal saying I should stay home even when Im at school. I’m sick and tired of this mess. I don’t know what to do.

Please help. I would like some good advice.

Best answer:

Answer by gentle bird
I am going to give you a place to call for help. It is a community crisis center that has FREE AND LOW INCOME services that you may find useful. If it is not workable for you there, they will give you other agencies to contact. This is a good first step! Don’t give up, keep trying. You need to get out of the place you are living and get some support quickly! I know it is hard to find help. I live in the State of Washington and I was able to find at least this place to start in Skokie, Il……(……Turning Point Behavioral Health Center….8324 Skokie Blvd…..Skokie, Il. 60077….(847)933-0051). If they can’t help you right away, they will give you more information to get you started. ASK ASK ASK! There are many services available to you in your area. If you need other services, you can also see your guidance counselor at your college. They DO have counselors there for all students. You just have to ask where they are on the campus. I am not familiar with your state so I am only giving you the help I could find close by. Most are in Chicago, but they can also lead you to better services close by. Contact as many as you can till you find the one closest to you. Look up “Free women’s crisis centers” or “domestic violence centers for women” on Google or Yahoo. At least it is something you can consider. I hope you will reconsider your doing anything to hurt yourself. Don’t let your family brainwash you into feeling lower than they are. YOU KNOW BETTER! Don’t give them the power over you to make you feel inadequate! You are NOT! You are a strong person to ask strangers for help, and I am trying to do this for you. It is cruel what you are going through and you need to escape the abuse. You are already in school and it is the best escape you have so far! It is a positive mind-setter for you right now. Do anything you can to stay in school. You can ask for all kinds of help in your college office or student counsel center. Did you know that? That is what they are there for. You may want to consider applying for Medicaid or Welfare in your state. Even if you do not qualify, they are there to help you! You never know, they may be able to help you more than you know. If you were not living at home, you would get more services, but don’t get despaired. You asked for help and I’m giving you the best start I could find. I hope this little bit will open doors for you. This world would be a sadder place without you!!!!!! Please do yourself a favor and get help. No shame in asking! PS: Make a copy of this page and give it to your counselor if you should get tongue tied. What you said here is all important too, every bit! Please do not hurt yourself again, PLEASE!!!!!! <3... :D

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