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My Husband Has Screwed Up Our Marriage With His Lying! Was It a Mistake for Me to Go to Marriage Counseling?

Question by Love: My husband has screwed up our marriage with his lying! Was it a mistake for me to go to marriage counseling?
I don’t know what to do. We have only been together for a year and a half and we have so many problems. I love my husband but slowly i am losing my love for him.

I have found out either by confession or admitting, about all of these things since we’ve been together and i am drained of energy because he is always causing stress in our marriage and im sick of it.
I’m 21 and he is 30.

*I found out that he had a drug problem. He hid it for a year and i had no idea. He was buying drugs from an 18 year old girl and doing about 20 vicodin pills a day. I told him if he didn’t stop i would leave him, so he stopped, no questions asked.

*Throughout our relationship we don’t have sex very often. I have a high sex drive and would love to have sex with him everyday and include variety in our sex life. He recently confessed that the reason we don’t have sex is because he has been hiding a porn addiction from me. One of his porn videos was called “18 and in training” which i think is gross. He knew from the the moment he met me that i didn’t like porn. I ALWAYS told him that there are plenty of other interesting things to do without resorting to porn and he always told me that he doesn’t watch porn and doesn’t even like porn.

*He recently confessed that when we do have sex, he thinks about other girls. In particular, one girl, which he met at work and had a crush on but never talked to her or hung out with her. Its been 3 years since then, and he said when we have sex about 1 out of every 3 times we have sex, he thinks of her during it.


The positives of our marriage are:

* I love him and he is my best friend.

* He is very affectionate and we love spending time together.

* He has always helped me take care of my mother who has Alzheimer’s.

* He supports me so i can go to school full time.

*He makes me happy in a lot of other ways. But the lying brings down our relationship and makes it too difficult.

I don’t know what to do. There is a part of me that wants to just leave for good but another part of me that wants it to work because he says he wants help and wants to be together forever.

We just started seeing a marriage counselor recently and i don’t know if i regret it…..

Oh and he’s the one that begged for counseling and said he would do anything to keep our marriage.

Best answer:

Answer by Quixotic²
I’m disgusted by him just from reading about him … I can’t imagine having to actually live with that person. *shudders* If it were me, divorce would be the ONLY option I would consider.

What do you think? Answer below!


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