Question by myBMisAhater: HOW TO FIND A GOOD CUSTODY LAWYER?
I’m currently trying to find a good lawyer for a future non-avoidable custody hearing. I am in the beginning process of trying to request mediation for an attempt to have visitation rights from my child’s mother, and I know I will eventually have to go to court to force her to follow the mediation (if she even goes). I hear things about “having a good lawyer”, but I do not know how to narrow the search down. I have been told that you can not exactly view how many cases they have won or lost, so I am trying to not overpay and end up with some idiot who screws me in court. Can anyone help out on this and possibly give me some tips on how to get the ball rolling on the research before I go to war…please? Also if you have any helpful tips on do’s and donts from now through all the hearing and children services stuff ANY info from here on can help!

Best answer:

Answer by Popeye420
Well first off you really don’t need to worry about the “attempt” to receive visitation rights to your child. That is, providing that you have nothing that poses as a risk to your child in your life. Something like drug use and abuse, alcoholism, and abuse are some things that can and generally will hurt a father or mothers chances at gaining some form of custody and visitation schedule.

I’m assuming that you weren’t married to this girl (the mother) and that there is no current order regarding custody and visitation of the child. If that is the case, then your rights are as equal as the mothers. If an order exists, you simply petition the courts to modify the order regarding custody and visitation.

Mediation is really overrated. The mediators do nothing but keep you two from killing one another and asking you what you two think you can accomplish as far as agreeing to whatever. If you agree, the mediator types it up, the parties sign, go to court, judge asks is this cool, judge then makes it an order, and bye bye. If you don’t agree, the mediator notes that the parties can’t agree, parties go to court, if attorney’s are present, attorney’s b.s. a bit, get the party’s together to try to mediate all over again, and if nothing happens it goes before the judge and the child makes their decision.

At times, if a court sees fit, they may appoint “child counsel” which is an attorney representing the child. This generally doesn’t happen but it can. In most cases it happens in cases of neglect, etc.

Generally speaking, if your good to go and not a scum bag or anything, expect to get around a 30% time share. Alternating holidays with some additional time in the summer. Also keep in mind things change depending on the age of the child.

You don’t really have to have a lawyer if you are willing to educate yourself. But if you feel shaky and can afford the roughly $ 10,000 that a good hard fought custody battle can lead to then so be it.

If you can do that, give me the 10 g’s because that’s what it really is like.

In other words, go hit up your book store and look for books on custody and divorce and things like that. I’d even look at parenting books regarding separate households. If your kid is old enough it really wouldn’t hurt to get an idea how they feel. You’ll need all the in site you can get over the years, trust me.

Don’t be a wiener to the other parent, especially around the kid….EVER! They remember and it pisses them off later in life. No matter how much of a butthead the other parent wants to be, just be cool and when they go away go hit a speed bag or something. Always be there for the kid, don’t miss any visits, ever, even if you gotta work, get a sitter yourself. Have your own clothing, bed stuff, and toys at your home. It makes it easier for the kid and more comfortable.

Court battles suck, so it’s better to work it out.

Good luck

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