Question by Nat: Hi all, I am the daughter of a single parent with Aspergers and really need some help….?
Hi all, I am the daughter of a single parent with aspergers…my mum was not diagnosed with aspergers until I was 17, by which point our relationship had deteriorated so much I had moved out. I am now 24, and although we are closer now, (understanding she cannot help the way she is sometimes is helpful to me) I still suffer with self-esteem issues and self confidence problems, which in turn affect any relationship I try and have! I am trying to change this with affirmations and positive thinking but I am struggling and end up pushing most people away. If anyone can suggest any advice or where I can go to get some I’d appreciate it!.

Best answer:

Answer by Wow!
There is no easy fix for what you are describing; Yahoo Answers is like the worst _lace to come when you really need hel_. Obviously counseling and a su__ort grou_ would hel_, but I’m not familiar with what is available. (My _ key is not working tonight.) I did some digging around and this can at least get you started in the right direction.
http://faaas.org/ This (Families of Adults Affected by As_erger’s Syndrome) seems like a _erfect resource, exce_t I dug around and really didn’t come u_ with much. They’re on the right track, though. Here’s a quote from the home _age:
” this disability has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact with the Asperger’s person. It is the spouses, parents, siblings, and children, of those with Asperger’s Syndrome that experience the emotional pain, especially when the correct diagnosis has been delayed until relatively late in adulthood. Family members need validation and support. Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome. Their feelings are not validated, acknowledged, or recognized by the person with this disability.”
The Family Members _age has some heart-wrenching first-hand accounts. They have a bulletin board/forum (BBS _age) but they charge for access, which doesn’t seem legit. And they have a _age titled “Counseling and Su__ort Centers” but it contains no links or information at all. See what I mean? Kind of a dud. They do have contact info if you want to email or call for more info. http://faaas.org/about/
They call this “Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS) aka (Cassandra Phenomenon)” so I googled the first _art of that and really didn’t come u_ with much. Just kee_ looking.
I did run across this quote I want to share, just so you can see others do know what you’ve been through. This is from http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/My-Spouse-Or-Partner-Has-Aspergers-Syndrome/2375805 :
“I love all my children and they’re my life, but the life they have right now with my husband who rejects their emotions day in and day out makes life so confusing. In another post, I also shared that my 8-year old daughter suffers from depression and anxiety because of him. She has behavioral problems too. She often sees how nice her friends’ dads are and how loving other dads are in public, and I feel so sorry for my daughter (and all my kids). This is what hit home to me: We are just learning about the mental health of NTs raised by Aspie parents or who have lived with a sibling on the Autism Spectrum. As adults some of these NTs are coming forward to talk about their childhoods. So far these people are reporting that they have coped with severe depression and self esteem problems because they lived with a parent who could not nurture them or get to know who they really are in the way that is so important to an NT. It is very debilitating to experience emotional rejection daily as a child, even if your physical needs are provided for. This does not mean the AS parent does not love their child. But the communication and relationship deficits confuse the child and can lead to the child feeling unloved. Remember it is the child’s experience that defines the parenting, not whether the AS parent loves their child.”

This site http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Home.aspx at first glance does not seem to acknowledge the family members of adults with As_erger’s, but it does seem authoritative and they’re bound to know of some resources for you. They also have a forum that seems _romising.
Here’s a site http://www.adultaspergers.org/support-groups/ devoted to adult as_erger’s, and they even have a family su__ort grou, but it’s not really going to hel_ you unless you live in Arizona. But they might be able to _rovide you with information on other grou_s and other resources. This seems to be a to_ic which is just beginning to get the slightest recognition. You could write a book of your ex_eriences and it might be the first book of its kind on the market. Good luck to you! I wish you the best.

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