Question by truro01: advice about alcoholism needed …?
i have a relative who is more than likely an alcoholic, they have been drinking a bottle of vodka about 6 days out of a week ,vodka bottles have been found in the washing machine and in cupboards, whilst on holiday they drank all day and then on the evening could only manage a half a lager as it makes them ill ( very bad stomache ) also i am angry as they have lost two siblings to alcohol,,,i know they have to admit it but i dont no what else to do ,also how long can they continue to drink like this before it turns in to a hospital situation : (
thanks for the help, it is my mom , she has my 11 year old brother and my 12 year old cousin ( because his mom died from alcohol effects ) so i am really angry she is putting them through it .
i agree it is not just her going through it but myself and sister and my two kids as well …

Best answer:

Answer by Kazz
Im sorry your seeing a loved one go through this and in fact your going through it also ..

My husband became an alcoholic only for him it was beer – I thought I could “cure” him – just because I was naive as nobody in my family drinks – I dont drink – I took him to Alcoholics Anonymous he only attended one meeting so I went behind his back to Alanon (this is for family and friends of an alcoholic) and I sat in the back out of their little circle they formed with their chairs and cryed my eyes out – I didnt want to hear what they were saying – they teach tollerance – I didnt want to tollerate his drinking and lying and hiding the evidence etc I wanted to FIX the problem.

My husband ended up leaving me for one of our customers (who has since left him) and he has tried to come back home but I have learned I cant help him at all – he needs to make the decision to get help – I believe he is now at a stage he needs rehab and will not go because he doesnt think he has a problem at all – unfortunately he has become very different from the man I married and there is nothing I can do about it so I wont take him back – I believe he is going to die an old lonely alcoholic or a young alcoholic as he will not accept he has this problem.

After he left I went around the yard and the house and was astonished I have taken 44 photos of piles of empty beer cans hidden in dense bushes and all over the place just like you are finding – I went to close the garage door (which hasnt been closed in years) I was showered with beer cans – its been a hard lesson for me to learn but at Alanon they were right – if you want to stay in the situation all you can do is learn to tollerate – I just couldnt do it – he did me a favor by leaving and I wont have him back.

Just one other thing that confuses me in the title question you say you have a relative who you suspect is an alcoholic (and yes I believe from what you have said he/she is) but the rest of the text goes on about them and they – so can I assume this is a husband and wife? Not really as you say they have lost 2 siblings to alcohol – not that it makes a difference in my comments either way but I just wondered.

I know this isnt what you want to hear as he is a loved one but until he is ready to admit to himself he has a problem there is nothing you can do.

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