Question by A M: Why is codependency called codependency? There should a better word for it?
It seems like the word doesn’t really reflect the definition very well. Codependent sounds more like people who are overly dependent on one another. The co- prefix in english means jointly and mutually, but the definition is someone who puts other’s need before their own? Sorry but there’s nothing mutual in that is there? Just saying.

Best answer:

Answer by Bill R
I think the term may have originated in the treatment of alcohol and drug addiction, but I’m not sure. In any case, the way it’s used there, the “co” makes sense, I think, like co-pilot to pilot. The “co,” as the person is sometimes called in an abbreviated, vernacular fashion, is not the person addicted or dependent on the chemical or drug (at least not the addicted person in question; they could have such a problem themselves, in which case the other person is also their “co” as well an addict themselves). But in their role as co-dependent (regardless whether they themselves are also drug addicted), they are usually someone who is closely related or involved with the dependent person and often facilitate their dependent or addictive behavior (covering up for the negative consequences of their addictive behavior, loaning money to the addict, or other assistance that enables the addict to more easily pursue their addiction). It can also have, I think, the secondary meaning that, especially as in the case of spouses, the co-dependent has an emotional dependency on the dependent just as that dependent has a chemical dependency on the substance they’re addicted to, thus a kind of dual or “co-” addiction. I think in those ways it’s used property, although, unfortunately, like many terms, including arguably “addiction” itself, the meaning can sometimes be expanded to include so much that the meaning becomes diluted and the word overused and complicated to the point that it ceases to be taken as seriously. It’s the ironic trap words sometimes fall into where the more a word defines, the less it defines.

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