Question by J. Adele: What can I do about My Impossible mother?
I do not love my mother. When I was growing up she supported me financially, that’s it.

Actually my mom was my everything until when I was 9 years old, my parents divorced, He had an affair and left her. It was wrong, but when it cam to me and my brother, my dad has always tried to show us love and I’ve accepted it.
I’m nearly 19 now. I’m a good kid, I don’t go out of my way to get into trouble, but ever since dad left and got remarried, its like I’m him in her eyes. I look like him, and I have large amounts of his carefree personality. He’s not a bad person, just made bad choices. I’m getting punished for those choices.

I feel like my mom does whatever she can to argue with me, or upset me (by taking things away, or dangling great opportunities in front of me, etc) just to bring me to the edge of my patience because that when the traits i received from her show up the most. Its like she loves seeing me desperate and at her mercy.

I had a serious boyfriend at the beginning of this year, at the time things with he and i were perfect, but I had a car, my mother found out that I had let him drive a few times (which I know was wrong) but she kicked me out of my house for it and took the car away, (even though 70% of the time i was using it for job hunting)

So i moved in with my boyfriend, who had an apartment at the time, made it to school everyday through other friends with transportation, but about a week before I graduated my boyfriend and i fought really bad and it got physical, I ended up in the hospital where they had to call my mom, she took me home and got all of my belongings from the apartment and brought them back home.

The boyfriend is out of my life now completely, but when I was with him I did learn what it was like to live on your own having responsibility, and making choices on your own. Here I can’t do anything on my own, She has to do everything for me that i really don’t need from her, then scream at me if i’m not worshipping the ground she walks on!

I still graduated high school, I just got a part time job at a grocery store today where the woman actually said the words “Your hired” They said they would call me within a couple of days to let me know where to go for orientation. My mother had said that once I got a job I could have the car back. I got really excited, she said we would go the next day to get insurance and get the car in my name, then half an hour later randomly decided “You know what I think we’ll wait on the car.” No reasoning what-so-ever, but supposedly for a few weeks. WTF?? I finally snapped today and said I didn’t feel it was right for her to take that from me, and if she really cared she’d let me have something good for once. But EVERY SINGLE TIME we argue it always goes to some sort of conversation on how I’m just like my dad, and how she’s upset that he’s not doing this or that for her. It never ends up on the subject I was origannly upset about!!!

It makes no freaking sense, Ever since I got back home from my abusive boyfriend my life has sucked, i feel lazy and good for nothing, i am begging her for responsibility and a chance to get out of my house and have a life again, I honestly believe she has always been jealous of my life, having so many friends and having people who care about me, my little brother is practically as anti-social as she is, she showers him with love and coddles his every step, I can’t really tell if he loves it or tolerates it, he has no definate personality.

Some may thing she just cares about me and wants me to be careful after all i’ve been through. Not so. All she ever talks about when i’m around is how quiet and calm the house was when i was gone, and how horrible i am to her and disrespectful I am. She can’t ever just walk past me without commenting on how I’ve somehow wronged her. I just try to keep to myself and get out of the house, even by walking, if i have to. The second I realize i’ve saved enough money to get my own place i’m getting out and never coming back. THIS WOMAN IS IMPOSSIBLE.

We’ve gone to so many family counselors at my mother’s insistance to fix things between, and i’ve made serious trys, but in the end we only go 2 or 3 times to each counselor. We always stop because my mom isn’t hearing what she thinks is the truth. She thinks I am the only one who needs to change, then the relationship would be perfect. WRONG. One counselor even asked her to leave the room once because my mother started arguing with her. The arguement was that my mother kept saying “Well she always does this and that its just so unfair!” the counselor is nodding and listening, but overall tells her that I sound like a typical teenage girl . My mom argued that I was much worse.

Another one of the big things with her is that she wants me to join the navy like she did when sh
I want out but I don’t have any money yet, Also Right now I think she’s afraid of me going back to my abusive boyfriend. Not an issue.

Also I live in texas, i need my car!
Oh and I only graduated a month ago.

Best answer:

Answer by Anonymous
okay, seriously you are nearly 19. move out quickly. you have no reason to stay with her. just save up money and find an apartment for yourself. I don’t know where you live but if you live in NYC, you really don’t need a car. But, all i can say is MOVE OUT.

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