Posts Tagged ‘marriage counseling’

Question by Paloma923: Is it possible to save a marriage if my husband deserted me during my lowest times of my life?
I’m having a hard time trying to forgive and forget when my husband deserted me in our marriage on several situations where I needed him the most. He wasn’t emotionally or at least physically there for me when my mother died, he actually gave me more grief then any thing. We fought so much during this because as he puts it “I should have gotten over her death within 4 months of her death…because that’s how he is and is family is.” We went to see a marriage counselor, but stopped going after he said that he was only going because I was making the appointments. He claims that he acted this way because he was dealing with emotional issues from his childhood and his deployment which both, he didn’t bother trying to get help for….even when I tried to get him help. Everytime I cried about my mother’s death, he would say nasty things like “well, I’m not going to comfort you because your going to still cry anyways.” To make matter’s worse, my family also deserted me and withheld their support, I basically had no one to be there….except for a psychiatrist…even though I would have liked that to be my husband or family.
Well, I forgave him and gave him another chance. Shortly, I lose my job, and guess what….he was not emotionally supportive for me again. Instead of giving me encouragement, he would bitch me out and constantly stress me out even more by threatening me that “we were going to have problems if I couldn’t find a job.” It wasn’t like I was sitting around the house just chillan, I constantly applied to jobs to no avail. I finally got a job working a fast food joint, something I told myself that I would never do ever again in my life, but I did it to keep my marriage together. Sure enough, his attitude was towards me did a 360 and he was happy with me once again….I feel very disgusted with the way he has acted….and he claims that now he realizes that he was not there for me the way he should have been, but I can’t help but constantly play back everything in my head and wonder should I continue with this marriage or not?
I grew resentment towards him for putting me through all this. I cried alone so many times, and I’m done feeling hurt. I love him still, and I don’t want to get a divorce…..needless to say, I fell into drinking alcohol to numb everything out. I’m angry and hurt, and it feels like no matter how many times he claims he is a changed man, and promises he will not desert me, I can’t seem to forget what he has done and fear that he would act like this again in the future. I can’t go through this again, I’m too weak. I’m sorry if I sound like complaining but I just don’t have anyone.
thank you Duo, I will check out that website. It is comforting to know that I’m not the only person going through this sort of problem in marriages. Now I don’t feel to entirely alone.
I’m new at this and I’m trying to figure out if there is a way that I can reply to each of your individual responses. Is there any other way to do this other than adding more details?
Karin- You are so right, love should be unconditional and I don’t feel that he loves me unconditionally. I actually feel like I’m married to a groupie…you know someone that only wants to be around when things are going great, then they are there fully without skipping a beat. That’s not who I want in my life. I feel so betrayed and hurt. Im not trying to play the blame game, but I think what made matter’s worse is that I never had a chance to really cope with my mother’s death because I have been so worried about my marriage constantly and she passed away on November 9th 2008. I got so disgusted with him when he started to act happy again when I found a job, I left him and stayed with a friend for a week. He says he is going to work on himself and change…but I just don’t believe he will. I feel like a stupid woman for giving him so many chances, my gut tells me that he will never really act right. Thank you for your response hun.
XO- you made me realize that I am looking for a reason to stay in this marriage…I don’t want to leave but at the same time, this marriage is causing me more damage than good. It does feel like abuse, as much as I don’t want to think about it like that, but it does feel that way because I’m emotionally torn and damaged about the one person that should have had my back regardless just failed on me the worse way possible. I will work on myself to lift myself out of this depression and alcoholism, your right, even though I can’t save this marriage, I can at least save myself. Thank you for your response.
Scarlet Cougar- I totally feel what your saying. He promised me that he will go to therapy, and he is willing to. The problem is, is that I have no faith in people anymore. I have been lied to, betrayed, and cheated out of happiness from this man. I just don’t believe that he will change, I wish there was some sort of pill that I can take that can just wipe the painful memory of him deserting me, cuz I think that will be the only way that I can even look at him now. I will try and get involved with a support group aside from him. Your right, I know that I have worn him out with the constant demand for support, but at the same time, he left me know choice with him so focused on his career, we have moved around the U.S. with his job I have lived in 5 states within the past 3 years, I can’t even establish friends…or even a stable career. I guess that’s what I get for being the “supportive wife” he never deserved to ask me to drop everything to support him in his career decisions.
Queen Agnostic- That’s true, we all make mistakes. I have a hard time believing in anyone that makes the mistake of not being there for the person they claim to love, that they even love that person at all. I mean, I think I could do what he did to me to someone else if I absolutely did not love or care about that person….thats the only way possible….
I will try and keep finding work and establish something for me and slowly remove myself from this if it comes down to it. I’m going to give our marriage once last chance at least I will know then that I did give it a chance.
As for the alcohol, I will stop and quit, Its not so bad to the point that I have to have it. I’m really sorry for your loss, my mother died exactly one year and one day before yours (November 9th 2008), and it hurts everyday. I’m so sorry hun, my heart aches for you. I know that everytime I look up at the sky, I know she is looking back. I know that your mother is doing the same to you (hugs).
Queen Agnostic-It will get better in time, trust me. It hurts everyday as if it happened yesterday, but I know that she is in a better place. Thank you for your support and advice, I really appreciate it.
Island- That’s what I believe to, I didn’t expect him to be the one of the people that failed to be there for me. It felt like a major slap to the face that he, along with my siblings, turned his back on me when I needed him the most. I can’t get over that part, I’m losing sleep, I can’t look at him without disgust.
I didn’t think that I was acting in a way that other people that lose their mother’s wouldn’t be. I have realized that he was just saying this as a cop out excuse so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
I’m going to get counseling, definitely, and I don’t have faith in him or much less anyone these days. I know for sure this will be the last time I say I do to anyone, I can’t go through disappointment again. Thank you for your advice and input, I greatly appreciate it.
Liz- Your so right, and I think that’s why our marriage is the way it is now. I’m going to try this marriage counseling with him since now he is “serious” about it, but I’m also embracing myself for the worse. Thank you for your time and input.
Six6un- Wow…ouch…you really told it like it is…a little hurtful, but since when does the truth feel good huh? I appreciate you being honest with me. I’m sorry for the too much info….I wasn’t always so emotionally dependant…I just became this way when I lost my mom, I lost my mom in the most traumatic experiences ever…I watched her slowly die in ICU helplessly for one month alone (it’s a longer story how it happened but long story short, she slipped into a coma and never woke up after experiencing complications from multiple seizures during a dialysis session.)
A long time ago, we were happy with each other, he wasn’t this coward that I see now. I fell in love with his representative, it feels like this man that
continued…I see now didn’t appear until we said I do, seriously. I don’t want to end this marriage, but at the same time your right, I don’t need someone that can’t stay by my side when things aren’t going great. I don’t think I can be or consider being with another man after this marriage. Thank you for your advice and honesty.

 

Marriage Counselor, Marriage Counseling in Lanham MD 20706 – Anew Place Counseling Services Inc is a marriage counseling service located in Lanham MD. Our marriage counselor can assist you with marriage problem solving…

 

Colo. ballot proposal requires couples to undergo pre-marriage counseling

Filed under: marriage counseling service

The measure, proposed by the California-based group Kids Against Divorce, would then require people who are marrying for a second time to clock 20 hours of counseling, 30 hours for a third marriage and so on, the Denver Postreported. Proponents David …
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Jon Gosselin calls marriage to Kate 'a business transaction'

Filed under: marriage counseling service

The episode, called New Couples Controversy, saw Jon and his current girlfriend Liz Jannetta taking part in a group therapy session with host and therapist Dr. Jenn Berman for the first time. Although the session was supposed to be about Jon and Liz …
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Marital Counseling Services from Taylor Life Center – Kathy Taylor from Taylor Life Center discusses the problems that can arise in a marriage and how Taylor Life Center can help couples deal with them.

 

LETTER: Waltham family upset with DCF, calls for action from senator

Filed under: marital counseling

An article appeared on the Waltham News Tribune's website (“National organization to review state's child protection agency,” 1/10/14) regarding the Patrick administration's plan to hire the Child Welfare League of America to review the policies and …
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Murder trial delayed for wife accused of killing husband's psychiatrist and …

Filed under: marital counseling

According to court documents, police allege that Griffin drove 250 miles to gun down Puscairu just hours after a marriage counseling session where Griffin's husband told his wife he was having an affair with Puscairu, and that he refused to end it …
Read more on fox4kc.com

Question by Love: My husband has screwed up our marriage with his lying! Was it a mistake for me to go to marriage counseling?
I don’t know what to do. We have only been together for a year and a half and we have so many problems. I love my husband but slowly i am losing my love for him.

I have found out either by confession or admitting, about all of these things since we’ve been together and i am drained of energy because he is always causing stress in our marriage and im sick of it.
I’m 21 and he is 30.

*I found out that he had a drug problem. He hid it for a year and i had no idea. He was buying drugs from an 18 year old girl and doing about 20 vicodin pills a day. I told him if he didn’t stop i would leave him, so he stopped, no questions asked.

 

Suboxone Doctor Treatment for Addiction in Guilford, Hartford, Waterbury, Norwich Ct – To schedule an appoinment with Dr. Jonathan Allen or Dr. Marc Bono, or for additional information about Suboxone Treatment for addiction, please call 860-378…

 

A Weekend with Nefesh

Filed under: addiction therapist

These therapists were offering clues to help the child and the parents, such as validation of the child and to see the problem from the child's point of view, also to figure out what are the triggers for the explosive tantrums. … To give an example …
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Irina Firstein Unveils New Guide To Couples Therapy

Filed under: addiction therapist

Irina Firstein is one of NYC's top couples, and individuals, therapists. With over 20 years of experience, Irina helps patients with all forms of counseling, ranging from couples and marriage counseling, to alcohol and drug addiction. When the media …
Read more on PR Web (press release)

 

?Part 6? Marriage Counseling and Relationship Advice ?Bishop T D Jakes? – Marriage Sermons from Bishop T.D Jakes.

 

Gay in Utah: Hostility, acceptance part of life

Filed under: marriage counseling

Haws and Eyre are licensed clinical social workers with a private counseling practice in Utah County. A few patients abandoned them after their effort to get a marriage license made their relationship widely known. "I've never been un-friended by so …
Read more on Fort Wayne Journal Gazette

 

12 Signs Your Lesbian Relationship is Over

Filed under: marriage counseling

The thought of couples counseling is unappealing. You have passed the point of emotional no-return. You are frequently thinking about an ex- or find yourself flirting with someone new. You may have noticed your partner doing the same. You and your …
Read more on 10,000 Couples