Question by Girl E: So I found out the super shy guy Im dating has “social anxiety disorder”…..?
Does anyone know much about this and will it cause problems with us?! How can I help him with it?!

Best answer:

Answer by Felidire ?
I have that pretty bad, it’s probably why I have no friends, no social life, I drink alone and probably also the reason why I spend so much time on here and got that orange thing beneath my name. It depends on how bad he has it, what specific problems he has, and what degree of experience he has with people and relationships (as well as any underlying instability/insecurity issues.)

It’s difficult for us to say though, as we don’t know the guy.

The only problems it would cause for me in a relationship, is that I hate partying, if we go out and the girlfriend’s friends tag along I would tend to drift away and wander off while they talk, so I could be alone/do my own thing, girls might find that annoying… I might make up excuses to not go somewhere or just straight out say no and that i’d rather stay home. I spend very little time around people, that sometimes I just like to tag along in the passenger side of the car with people that I trust, but 50% of the time i’ll rather sit in the car than go into a store with the person — that’s only a problem if you can’t drag me out and force me to come. I may not deal well with certain social situations and want to drag the partner along with me to make me feel less awkward, some girls might get shítty with that sort of hand-holding behaviour…

But for the most part, I don’t think it’s an issue, it’s who I am and if someone doesn’t like it then things just aren’t meant to be and they should move on without me in their life! If you read all of that, then it’s pretty straight forward how to help, it’s just a lot of trust-building, tagging along, and spending a lot of time with them. If they do have insecurity issues then it’s a major problem, and you’ll know if they do because all of the trust that you build will spontaneously vanish from time to time, and you’ll probably get tired of having to re-build that trust. It’s happened to me twice but if I chose to date someone again then I know it wouldn’t happen anymore, that’s why his degree of dating/experience with people matters.

Good luck, hopefully he’s not as bad as me. (and hopefully you don’t think that I sound weird, lmao!)

Edit: Oh, and I just remembered, he might come off as obscure and make you try to “guess” what he’s feeling instead of straight out telling you. That can get frustrating unless you’re a very in-depth and empathetic person, if he does that then it’s possibly because he wants to know that you understand him for who he is, and that he doesn’t need to spoon-feed you, word from word about everything that’s going on. But it can be annoying, I have the tendency to do this in relationships. Its’s not really something you can fix, if he does that you will either cope well with it and understand the guy, or it will screw up the relationship because it irritates the cráp out of you! =P

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