Question by Sean 🙂: Probably a pointless post (see inside for why that might be):Sister-in-Law is a hoarder?
My sister-in-law is a hoarder, and it has greatly affected my older brother. Two situations that make this even worse are the fact that she hasn’t truly, consistently sought out help, and, they have a baby who is jsut about to turn 10 months.

My older brother protects her when the subject is brought up (i haven’t personally spoken to him about it just yet, my dad has though). But he is embarrassed about it, upset about it; all the unfortunate results a spouse or relative would feel relating to a hoarder’s actions.

i am so concerned on multiple levels. Their daughter happens to be my Goddaughter, i have this feeling i ought to be looking out for her like her mom and dad should be. i don’t know how far i should be stepping my foot into this, how far i should be getting invovled in this. But i am so concerned about the baby. If her moms’ actions will pass down on to her. If her moms’ actions have negative affects on her. How unhealthy it is to be living in that kind of environment. And even worse, the girl is bound to make friends. What if a parent were to come by and see what it looks like in there? i fear that parent could call Child Protective Services and they could certainly come by and perhaps declare conditions unsafe and unhealthy and take the child away. i know how much that child means to her mother, she loves her so much; is so attached to her.

Unfortunately the mom has so many issues, beyond hoarding. But i feel at a loss here. i feel like i’d like to talk to her, but i don’t know if i should talk to my older brother first. But what good would i be doing if she doesn’t bother seeking out the help she needs, and consistently sticks with that help? On the other hand, i’d rather say i tried than did nothing. i don’t want to see the marriage deteriorate and potentially lead to a divorce, but i can see, and i know, that my older brother is miserable, and they’ve only been married for a little over three years now. i very much love my sister-in-law, but i’m not going to stand by and see my older brother continue to suffer, and endure everything else he has to endure with her, and i am not going to stand by and watch my Goddaughter absorb in/observe/pick up on/and even perhaps emulate my sister-in-laws’ verbal abuse my older brother has been receiving relating to other mental issues my sister-in-law is going through. For the curious: they have been to a marriage counselor, but after only one appointment the wife didn’t want to go back again/anymore.

i feel for starters that i should talk to my older brother. i am frank and blunt with things, so i fear i may offend or upset him with what i say. i then feel that i should talk to my sister-in-law, but i expect a potential confrontation keeping in mind all the other mental issues she has going on. i am willing to accept that though.

Can you offer me any suggestions, or do you think what i have in mind doing is really the best way to go? Thanks in advance for any and all help.

Best answer:

Answer by Ginny Jin
there is absolutely nothing you can do short of offering to help her have a clear out.

I am a hoarder have had interventions and inspections by psychiatrists but two days later go back to as before- it is caused by OCD. Honestly speaking it is a health hazard – it is common for rodents/insects to find a home in the belongings- and you are right to want to protect your Goddaughter. I had no children for said reason..

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