How do you deal with problem relationships that just seem like they can’t be fixed?

The first and obvious questions should always be: Do I REALLY want to get back together AND Am I will to do WHATEVER it takes to make it happen? If the commitment isn’t there the process (no matter how good your intentions might be) isn’t going to work. That’s just the reality.

The other question that has to be asked is: I may be committed to restoring the relationship but is my Spouse/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Significant Other willing to make the same effort? The point is you are probably doomed from the start if you can’t see ANY light at the end of the tunnel. But that’s not what any of us want to hear.

Many couples enter marriage or a relationship with the “Cinderella fantasy”. You know….the story book tale with a bed of roses without any thistles. Let’s face it, relationships are just plain down right messy at times. Our natural tendency is to ask our friends or family members for relationships problems advice when things aren’t going well. The downside to that approach is our loved ones and friends can’t always be objective and end up taking sides. Sometimes it takes a “fresh set of eyes and ears” to point out the obvious!

Licensed therapists ordinarily have the skills and training (in theory!) to handle relationship problems. Whether they are successful is open for debate. As a matter of fact, one recent study found that only 25% of those surveyed felt that marriage counseling helped them. Most of them thought it did more harm than good! The price tag alone ($ 50 to $ 100 per hour) should give everyone concern if the odds are stacked that much against you. Once again, the key ingredient is to make sure you and your partner are TRULY committed. You might as well flush the money down the drain if you aren’t.

If you are a member of a church they always have counselors on staff that are trained to help their members. Best of all the counseling is usually free. That’s what they are paid to be on the staff for!

The point of all of this is that the internet has also opened up a whole new alternative. You may keep asking the questions about “getting back with my ex“. Don’t get discouraged. Get all the advice you can, make sure both of you are committed and go for it! Your relationship is worth saving!

Collegewise Online Counselor – Katie Konrad Moore – Katie runs the Collegewise office in Bellevue, Washington (just a short drive over a nice bridge from Seattle), and is also a certified Collegewise “Master Counselor.” We know that might sound like some sort of martial arts award, but it means that Katie is certified to train new Collegewise counselors. To us, that’s just about as impressive as a black belt in Kung Fu. She’s kind of a big deal here.