Question by SaratheSlytherin: Life. I just don’t know how to deal with this situation anymore. Please help?
First of all, this isn’t an ”emo” teenage post. Life can be REALLY hard at any stage. I’m a single young woman.

I hope I can say this without being judged because I’ve been strong for so long. It’s just at the point where it’s breaking me.

I have all these high dreams for my life but sometimes I feel like there’s no point in trying because everything I worked hard for has been ruined for me. This sounds really harsh, but sometimes I don’t want to live anymore. Honestly? I don’t think I have it in me to commit suicide but sometimes I FEEL suicidal because I feel like there’s no way to fix any of my problems. My life is an absolute mess now, and honestly I made some mistakes that were contributing factors but these retards I thought were my friends backstabbed me and ruined my life and the pain and brokenness won’t go away. I just want something to look forward to and I feel hopeless.

Ok I recently returned ”home” to USA after spending three years as a TEFL teacher in Michoacán. I have some very dear friends there but my experience was overall a nightmare. I’ve been going through heartache over the past couple years. Ok music was my LIFE and I played guitar for years, and finally I got into a band. Long story short, things in the band ended VERY badly and these three retards I played with have ruined my music dreams and my life. I was the victim of bullying there and I’ve been the victim of bullying throughout life and I’m so angry all the time. I went through some things in Michoacán that have just broken me spiritually and emotionally.

Second, my pet German Shepherd, who was my absolute world. Her time to leave us came two years ago. It’s been so hard on me that I’m still grieving. My relationship with my family is TENSE and I always feel shut out and overlooked. Gretchen was always there for me and just gave unconditional love and now she’s gone when I need her more than ever.

I live at home with my mom and her other kid, my dad deserted out family and he has completely shut me out. I went through a lot in Michoacán and I thought coming home was the ”right” thing to do but I almost wish I’d stayed in Mexico. I have tried and tried to get a job but there’s no opportunity where we live (in NC). I’m stuck in the house all the time with no money, I can’t get a job, don’t have a car, and I’m like a prisoner and the house. I don’t know how to deal with my brother anymore or how to stand up to him. I’m not afraid to but it’s just that my mom hasn’t been feeling well and a fight would negatively affect her health. I want to chase someone around the house with a knife because I am so sick sick sick of being trapped here. I have two friends about my age that live here but one never wants to hang out anymore, and the other is really close but she’s married. I would call her but I feel like Friday night is for couples. She’s a great friend but I know she has other commitments too. I really care about them… but sometimes I long for someone who is into playing guitars to come play music with me. I want to visit my cousin from Charlotte but I am afraid that my mom will get upset if I go.

We live near Greensboro and I am so sick of this town. It’s impossible to meet single guys (I don’t want a relationship… I just want friends), it’s almost impossible to meet friends, nothing to do, the winters are bitterly cold, harsh and being here is a drag.

I can’t move out because I am dealing with depression and PTSD and I can’t deal with struggling to pay rent in a town that I hate. I’m also going to grad school for health care.

I would feel so awkward saying this to some stranger’s face but on the Internet people post this stuff all the time without inhibitions… I’m in tears as I write this. I feel like I must be the queen of the losers because I’m spending Friday night in tears and alone posting on Yahoo answers while everyone else is out on the town or enjoying their husband/wife. My heart is broken because being in a band was my dream and I love Gretchen and my best (human( friend more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I don’t see how I can ever see either of them again. My best friend is still alive (thankfully) but he was in my band and I’m not anymore.

Sometimes I feel suicidal but I’m always deterred because I think ”what if there’s an afterlife?” It would be so sad if I realized something much worse awaited me on the other side of death for failing the test of life. But as horrible as this sounds I feel like I have nothing to live for. My dream was to play in a band and I was cheated out of that and my heart is breaking for Gretchen.

Best answer:

Answer by Lulu
Hi, you could say that I am one of the least qualified person to answer a question about your life… I am only 14 but just listen to me. I know you are going through a rough patch in your life, we have all been there. Some have it worse than others and no one really knows EXACTLY how you feel. But trust me when I say that things will get better. Loosing something that is close to you is always extremely difficult… Human or non-human, but just know that Gretchen is in a better place. You seem like an amazing person who is going through a lot right now but remember that god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. You can do this. Just promise me you will stay strong and think positive. If you look towards the sun you will never see the shadows:) never give into your thoughts that tell you to commit suicide. Being a young woman you have so much ahead of you. Please don't cry, wipe off your tears and enjoy life. If you need anything, you can email me:) you can do this!!

What do you think? Answer below!

 

Greene County Schools Release Statement On Teacher Killed In Vehicle Crash

Filed under: grief counselling and grief therapy

Greene County Schools' crisis team has been mobilized – additional school counselors and support staff will be on hand at the school on Monday morning to assist with grief counseling. At this time, I am unable to share any additional information. Thank …
Read more on WITN

 

Newcastle West Feb 8

Filed under: grief counselling and grief therapy

Run by trained volunteers, the programme is not a counseling or therapy service, but is instead, a safe, confidential setting where children can share their grief associated feelings with each other and with these trained facilitators. New progammes …
Read more on Limerick Leader