Question by julie j: In what ways do APs and PAPs have the ability to become catalysts for change in the U.S. adoption system?
Since adoptive parents & prospective adoptive parents have the power to generally make all the choices such as where they adopt, how they adopt, & who they adopt, how could those choices positively affect the U.S. adoption system?

Also, are there different things they could do before and after adopting? Could their choices have huge impacts upon the results of people’s lives? Why or why would they not choose to utilize choices that could change the adoption system for the better?

Thank you for your thoughts on this.

Best answer:

Answer by Kit-E-Kat
Well I don’t live in the U.S (I’m in Australia), but to me it stands to reason that if potential adoptive parents are the ones who are driving the industry, so to speak, their voices are (unfortunately) likely to be heard a lot louder than those of parents who have relinquished children, or those who have been adopted themselves. I remember reading some figures on the adoption industry in the U.S -can’t quote the source, sorry!- and I was just absolutely staggered to see how many young children and infants are placed for adoption every year. I’m sure there are some genuine circumstances, but surely there aren’t that many people who are truly unable to care for their children?

I realise Australia has a much better equipped social security system, over here there are so many resources to assist families financially and practically, and obviously these resources are in much shorter supply in the U.S.
As far as before/after adopting a child, I would have to say: do your research. I would want to know everything I could about my child’s biological family, both for my benefit and more to the point my child’s. It has to be strange (to say the least) to live being so disconnected from where your life first started from.

I’m a foster parent, at the moment I have 2 children in my care. We don’t ‘adopt’ from the foster system over here, but eventually orders are placed for permanent care if the family is unable to reunify. There is a high probability my current children will stay until 18, and I’ll most likely take guardianship. I have, and will always continue to have an excellent relationship with their parents. They will continue visitations, have regular visits and photos, and be included in the children’s lives. I personally do not understand why this can’t happen (to some extent) in adoptions. I don’t understand why an adoptive parent wouldn’t want their child to grow up feeling as complete as possible. I also don’t know that I could live with their parents pain on my conscience.

If adoptive parents pushed for similar situations to happen in ALL adoptions, then eventually the beaurocrats in charge of adoption practices will start listening. If they were to push for more honesty in the system and the families affected, then that’s what would have to be introduced. And if they chose ethical and moral reasons and ways of adopting, then eventually the unethical practices would start to be stamped out.

I’m sure it’s not all that simple, but it seems like it would be a good place to start. If you’re the ones in the drivers seat, then why not turn the wheels the right way?

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 

 

In Loving Memory of Louis and Joey Cid – Yvette Cid lost her only two children less than 2 years apart. God Bless Cid as she travels the Grief Journey remembering her precious sons each and every day with every breath she takes. You are not alone. We love you Cid.