Question by Avasia: I have an interesting question about friendship?
Hey, I’m Avasia and I’m currently in High School. My question is “How to gain a best friend?”.

I think my main dilemmas here are trust and the fact of me being gay (lesbian). I had a best friend my freshman year but my sophomore year she graduated and went off to college. She didn’t know I was gay at the time and I wasn’t very open about it because I went to a private Christian school. I was bullied for my sexuality in seventh grade at the same school when I tried to become open about it. The school sent me to “Gay counseling” and threatened to kick me out of the school if I didn’t change. Ever since that year, I kept it under the rug. So the main point is, my best friend never knew I was gay because we both went to the same school together.

My other problem is trust. I’ve also had internet best friends and have been cyber bullied due to my sexuality as well. (I have gone to several therapy sessions and I’ve received help already due to the bullying). Now my problem is trusting someone enough for them to not judge me and not expect me to have a crush on them/take an advantage of them.

The other problem is distinguishing who is the right person to trust. I’ve tested out quite a few people but some I don’t like. For example, some are rude, obnoxious or just conceded or conservative. Others never seem interested to be close enough to be best friends. I’ve found a select few though who I am interested in pursuing a best friend relationship but my trusting gets in the way.

So my question is,

“What is the best way to distinguish a right person for a best friend to a person that’s gay? And how do I trust them?”

Also I am open about my sexuality now at the public school I go too.

Best answer:

Answer by Coco
Building confidence helps alot, taking martial arts is a great way to do that. I’d highly reccomend hapkido or judo. They build confidence so quickly and you learn very good life lessons too if you have a good teacher. Secondly; if you’re in school I’d try to hide it a little. Kids are really cruel, but in highschool they let up about it a little bit, but you’ll still get bullies here and there.

Being bestiest with someone that’s pretty delicate to answer, my best friend is someone i click with mentally and emotionally, I try to be friends with everyone, really, but close friends and best friends take alot of trust building exersizes, like hanging out and giving them small tests like “hey grab the wheel of the car I’m gunna text, tell me to hit the breaks if I’m gunna hit someone” For example.
But that’s just the mental aspect of trust, emotional is something you build on with heart-to-heart conversations you have about both of your personal abilities, problems, things noone else knows about you.

What do you think? Answer below!

 

 

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