Question by jasmine m: I have a friend that is slowly loosing herself to depression?
I cant seem to convince her to get help. Its terrible and upsetting. SHe lost her baby little more than a year ago at Christmas. Her newborn died during the end of December. She was born with less than half of her heart functioning. The doctors tried everything but eventually the baby died. She has quit her work and refuses to even go out of the house. She ignores her husband and everyone around her and I am really scared she may hurt herself. What can I do for her

Best answer:

Answer by shaneris5
Some suggestions, and resources follow: Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email [email protected] Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: www.griefnet.org/ and www.helpguide.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or pet) and www.mental-health-abc.com/ and www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 and www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ There is a grief support group at: http://dailystrength.org/ Also try Groups, at Myspace.com and Yahoo.com & Google.com At www.mind.org.uk/ type “grief” in the taskbar, and enter. Helping others grieve, and helping children grieve are some topics at: www.crisiscounseling.com/TraumaLoss/GriefLoss.htm Understand that there are often several stages of grief. Those stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: “It can’t be happening.”
Anger: “Why ME? It’s not fair?!” (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as “responsible”)
Bargaining: “Just let me live to see my son graduate.”
Depression: “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”
Acceptance: “It’s going to be alright.
Growth: Grief is a chance for personal growth. For many people, it may eventually lead to renewed energy to invest in new activities and new relationships. Some people seek meaning in their loss and get involved in causes or projects that help others. Some people find a new compassion in themselves as a result of the pain they have suffered. They may become more sensitive to others, thus enabling richer relationships. Others find new strength and independence they never knew they had. After the loss, they find new emotional resources that had not been apparent before. Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce.

Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.See www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside; say; one day every month, perhaps on a significant date, (for example; the 17th, or the second thursday) on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. Celebrate that life; be thankful for the experience, and remember the good times. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2. ; view page R first. Also see: EMOTIONAL CONTROL. EMOTIONAL THOUGHT STOPPING: PAGE L, in section 2, at ezy build, and page N, in section 6, on negative thoughts & images.

If you practice, and become proficient in one of the relaxation techniques, it enables awareness, and a way of being, without emotional suffering, and helps you through the more difficult times in life. Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning: Beyond Grief: A guide for recovering from the death of a loved one; New Harbinger Productions Inc. 5674 Shattock Ave, Oakland, CA 94609 Phone: 1-800-784-6273 ~~~ James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins. ~~~ Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press. ~~~ Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books. Tatelbaum, J. The Courage to Grieve. Creative Living, Recovery and Growth through Grief. New York: Harper & Row. (1980). ~~~ Roth, Deborah, ed. Stepping Stones to Grief Recovery. Santa Monica: IBS Press.(1987). ~~~ Coping with Grief by Mal McKissock and Dianne McKissock, ABC Books & Audio. 2001

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