Question by flood: How to be less self-concious and live in the moment?
About 6 years ago was the peak of my cannabis abuse. I used to smoke so much that I stopped talking to people I didn’t know, I was with a friend for 99% of that time who had no social skills what so ever. We would stay in all day, smoke weed and play computer games. A year later I went to university, I was so anxious that I stopped attending lecture and the labs. I went to my doctors and he diagnosed me as depressed and put me on Sertraline. I passed university simply by giving doctors notes about my condition and I taught myself all the material required from the internet and continued to hide from the world. I was depressed because I had no confidence in my vocal communication abilities. The anti-depressants started to make me feel better but I still wouldn’t leave my comfort zone and had later found out that what I was experiencing was social anxiety (self-diagnosis). I know that my lack of social skills is caused by not facing the world.

Now after passing university, getting a job and moving into a house share with 3 other people, I now find that I HATE the experience of talking to people. I tend to think about how I sound more than what I’m saying and it comes of completely robotic. It just feels like there’s no real substance to what I’m saying. I’ve not made people smile, laugh, become upset or anything for years. I honestly feel like I don’t fit into this world anymore and if I was diagnosed with cancer and were to die tomorrow, I wouldn’t feel sad. Why would I when I can’t form meaningful connections with anyone, I can’t “get out of my head” and feel emotions. I just feel empty and want it to change.

The question is how?

At the moment my life consists of: going to to work, come home, stay in bedroom or sometimes go for a drink with work colleagues where I’m just some guy who tags along for a couple of pints. I feel completely worthless and if it continues I may just consider suicide.

If we’re going to get religious. My life given to me by god is a punishment. Suicide feels like an opportunity to give it back.

Best answer:

Answer by Veni
You should call your doctor and let him/her know how you feel. It could be the side effect of your anti depressant.

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