Question by 1magicmom: How long should you see a therapist after you lose someone? Three years too long? Why can’t we be happy?
The man I have been dating nearly 3 years has been seeing a ” so called therapist” since his wife died in 2007. We started dating near the end of 2008. He has been seeing this “Doctor” within weeks of his wife’s death and is still seeing her. She charges a high fee for him to see her; I learned this when she, on learning I was dating her “meal ticket” decided to have me brought in so she could evaluate how much trouble I might be to her control over him. She was anything but nice, glaring at me the whole visit. Asking masked questions, and making assumptions of me when she didn’t know a thing about me was very unprofessional not to mention down right stupid on her part. Most of the things I have learned about her are enough to make ones skin crawl. From all I have been able to learn I am sure she is just milking him for his money. I doubt he still ( needs therapy ) as nearly a year ago. He made his last entry in his journals he had kept since he and his wife married. He brought the journal and let me read it. I didn’t know how to feel, relieved that he was no longer struggling with her sudden death shortly after being told she was doing great. Or to cry, because he was finally able to let go of the pain and grief of losing her. And then to let me read something so private as his journal about her? He loved his wife dearly, and she was a great person, and a great friend to him as well as to me. But the way he is being “used” by this “so called doctor” makes my blood boil. I don’t want to see him used, or tricked by this person. I have nothing to gain that I don’t already have, which is his friendship. Or may I do … not more than two weeks ago, he told me that he loved me enough to marry me, BUT, he fears I will die… something that sounds too much like her mouth not his. He was seeing her the next day and told me he was telling her the “great news.” That same weekend; ( he saw her Thursday, ) That Saturday he started out with “I love you” but…” I am afraid you will die before me and I can’t go through that again.” We are a year apart in age, no one is guaranteed tomorrow. So why let that keep either of us from being happy? This is why I am sure it is this quack doctor speaking through him, putting words in his mouth and fear inside him. More than likely I will out live him, not him me. I think we should take a chance to be happy in the now and let the future take care of itself. Am I wrong in thinking this way, shouldn’t we both be happy?

Best answer:

Answer by gerard
It is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, but you have to love each other enough, to let you two “be” happy! loving each other should be your main concern, not who is going to out live who! Because if i love you, what time “God’ gives us, is a blessing of happiness to me!

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