Question by : how can i ever cope with the agony and constant feeling of guilt?
am 24 years old and have a 3 year old daughter. My daughters mother tragically passed away less than a week ago at the age of 22. She had an epileptic fit and eventually died from liver failure.

I was with Tania for around 4 years then we broke up in December 2008. I managed tto get an apartment for us to live in but she never wanted to follow. Throughout the year all we did was argue over the phone until July this year which is the last time we spoke. I haven’t even seen her once this year either.

I was so shocked and heartbroke that she had fallen out with me but what hurt me most was she and her mother wouldn’t allow me access to see my daughter. I knew that the only way was to go through court but because Tania wasn’t well I didn’t want to put her through that.

Anyway, I found out that she was in hospital and went to see her. As soon as I saw her the doctor said that her mom said I was not allowed to see her(she was in a coma at this time). Her mother is a very nasty woman and made it very difficult for us. She had a massive influence on Tania. It seemed everything she did came from her mother.

I was distraught that I couldn’t even hold her hand during the final hours; because although we weren’t officially together, no matter how she felt or what she thought, I still loved her very much and out of everyone I was the one who would have done anything for her. Now I can’t even go to her funeral.

Her mother said it’s my fault that she died. The past week I haven’t eaten I’ve lost over 30lbs in weight. I’ve been signed off work for a while.

I feel very guilty for this loss. I feel I could have done something to help. Howver every time I turned up at the house or rang to speak, they would call the police. I even sent flowers and presents to her and her mother on several occassions just to show that I want peace. This never helped, they just carried on and on until eventually I had a breakdown and have suffered with depresssion for most of this year.

Now this has happened I don’t know how I can live my life again, I can’t eat sleep, I keep shaking and crying it’s just I can’t accept that this has happened. I wish it happened to myself.

I just wondered if anyone out there has experienced something similar and what they have done to cope with the agony and guilt that I’m feeling right now?

Thank you

Best answer:

Answer by Architect
I can’t help you , need more details plz .

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