Question by WhatToDo: Father blames himself for my brother suicide?
In 1999 my younger brother committed suicide. Through out the years my family has struggled with accepting it. My father being the worse of them. He consistently wants to blame himself for my brothers actions. I personally do not know where to start and what to say when he approaches me with his guilt issues. He makes up the classic excuses for blaming himself such as “only if i had done this” and ” I am the father, I am supposed to not let this happen to my children” Now he is in counseling with a couple of doctors and has been for many years, but he is also a very good actor and very good at twisting things, so I sometimes wonder if he talks about these issues with his doctors. My question to the community is what do I do and how do I handle myself when he confronts me with his feelings. I try to explain to him that it is not his fault, and by saying “if only i had done this” is just creating a excuse to blame himself, which in turn makes him feel worse. What if anything can i do to help him realize that it is not his fault. That my younger brother made a dumb decision, and my father is not to blame for his actions. TYIA Thomas
The fact that a child is not supposed to die before the parent is apparent to me, but he is not doing it for attention. Guilt is natural with suicide, and survivors never really heal after they lose there loved one. So being the brother of the victim and knowing what my father is feeling I can tell you it is not for attention. Please only qualified people respond TYIA

Best answer:

Answer by Rachiee
There’s not much you can do really. If your dads gonna blame himself then he’s gonna do it whether you like it or not. Though his grieving process is taking longer then normal there is nothing to worry about. Most parents find it hard to deal with the deaths of their children it’s not natural for them to die first and so it confuses hem because they’re supposed to protect them from bad things including death. On the other had… No offense or anything but it sounds to me like your dad is doing it for attention… However this is just a speculation. Good luck. 🙂

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