Question by sharkey: Alcohol relapse- cutting off all communication?
One of my closest friends has been an alcoholic for 12 years. He has been to rehab, AA, etc… He was sober for nearly 60 days when last week his sponsor, for whatever reason, began putting doubt in his mind that he had the alcohol “allergy”. Ever since that conversation, he’s been struggling with this question & has been contemplating “testing” this supposed allergy. He assured me he would tell me if he did in fact relapse, as he tells me everything & I don’t ever judge.

He came by on Wednesday & wasn’t himself. He was shaky, edgy, & kept checking his cell phone to see what time it was- This is completely out of character for him. By 7pm, he said he was tired & wanted to go home. He told me he’d call when he got home. He lives 30 minutes away & after an hour & a half of not hearing from him, I text him to ask if he got home okay, to which he responded “Hi! At my buddy Matt’s house.” I’ve never heard of Matt. This is the last I heard from him.

We generally talk 3 or 4 times a day. I’ve tried texting him twice & called once yesterday. I left a voicemail asking him to please text or call me because I’m worried about him & if he needs space, I’ll respect that, but to please just send me a text. I’ve heard nothing. We were also supposed to leave town this weekend, which obviously never happened.

I’m not sure what else I can do. Is it safe to assume he might have relapsed? And of so, is it normal to cut off ties with someone who’s so close to you? Will I likely ever hear from him again? Thanks

Best answer:

Answer by epicfail2011
I think that your relapse assumption is valid. It’s easy for him to SAY that he would tell you if he relapsed, but DOING so isn’t always that simple. I bet that he is feeling VERY guilty right now, and is embarassed to tell you. He might feel that he ‘has let you down’.

Like you, I am unsure why his sponsor felt the need to introduce the ‘alcohol allergy’ concept. Your friend is obviously NOT allergic to alcohol. He’s been drinking for years. I think that, indeed, your friend, as a result, had to go back and drink to test this new concept.

All you can do is continue to try and contact him via phone. That’s all you have. You don’t know where he is.

I sincerely hope and pray that he will eventually return your call so that you can resume supporting him and his recovery and healing.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 

 

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