Question by Jo M: what specific needs does someone from a Greek background have when dealing with grief, loss or nearing death?
This is a cultural care question for a nursing assignment and i am having trouble finding information relevant to modern times about Greek customs and rites, special needs etc… at these times.

Best answer:

Answer by I_M
I am Greek and a Grief Specialist at that and I have gone through a parental loss during my teen years.

Have you tried Wikipedia for modern Greek grieving practices?

Anyways…I think there are universal needs to tend to when someone of any cultural descent dies and grieves. From my own experience, Greek people, especially of the older generations (40+) need to be given a “it’s ok” to grieve talk. Greek culture, although very good with remembering its dead, like any western society, doesn not deal with the emotions of the griever.

When the person dies, relatives and friends come to their homes where they bring food and kind words. The comes the funeral and the memorial. After the funeral, people usually meet in the church basement or somewhere else, and a barley meal (barley, rainsins, pomegranate) is served (it has been blessed) along with cognac (Metaxa rather) and greek coffee. People then come one by one, and shake the family’s hand offering their condolonces. This memorial type event occurs again at the 40 days, 6 months, year, 3 yrs, 5 yrs and 7 yrs. Usually the last one is at the year.

usually family wears black for 40 days, and widows wear black for the rest of their lives, or for a year depending on their generation.

Then comes the cemetery. The Greek Orthodox part of the cemetery is the most decorated since family memebers will always bring flowers and candles (called kandili) to the gravestone. There is always a connection to the dead. In Greece, unfortunately, graves are only there for 7 yrs due to lack of space. In the Americas however, they are give the chance to experience a connection to the other side. There are many holidays that unite the griever to his/her departed loved one. There are holidays called “soul saturdays” where you bring this barley meal (called koliva) to the church along with your deceased loved ones names and the priest reads them and blesses them.

Although feelings are not spoken about much, there are rituals and practices that allow one to face the death.

As for the real journey, the emotional grieving process,. I would say that the needs of Greeks are not clear since there is no cultural “grieving process”. It is very much “Your mother would want to see you move on” and comments like that. I would say they need to talk about the death, and be told about grief since many dont know about it.

You can also try looking up “Greek Orthodoxy and Grief” since most of the Greek population follows this religion along with its rituals and practices.

Sorry for not really answering your question, hope it helped somewhat.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 

 

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