Question by Claire: How to convince my mom to stop making me go to a therapist?
My mom is always telling me how she “knows” that I have some sort of disorder because she thinks I’m “different.” She also constantly tells me things like “I know you have trouble making friends, and I think that’s a sign of a mental disorder. You need to see a therapist.” which utterly confuses me because 1. she is obviously not around when I make friends and socialize, so even if that were true she would have no way of knowing, 2. I have many friends, 3. she has met my friends and 4. I talk about my friends. She has made me take tests to see if I have Aspergers, and some other types of autism and there was absolutely zero indication that I have any disorders. Her reasons for believing that I have a mental disorder? That I don’t go out or party much, I don’t listen to pop music, a lot of people say I’m quiet, I’m reserved, etc. She literally just described introversion. She thinks introversion is a mental disorder.
I often find us having a conversation along these lines:
“Claire, when should I schedule your next therapist appointment?”
“Mom I really do not want or need to go back to the therapist.”
“But you need to get your problems fixed.”
“What problems?”
“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t you want to be normal?”
etc. etc.
I feel totally insulted by the way she talks to me about this. She believes my personality is a disease and wants me to change who I am, so she always tells me there is something wrong with my mind. I do not believe there is anything wrong with my mind.
About a year ago, I was struggling with depression so my mom took me to see a therapist. From the first visit I immediately hated it. The woman was a total b*tch. The first interaction I had with her she pointed out my acne, my thinning hair, and things that I felt insecure about, and then emptily said “oh, they look good on you,” which was obviously a lie. But the main reason why i hate therapy is because she uses the exact same rhetoric my mom uses when she tells me that I have all these “problems” that need to be fixed. She is also always telling me that there is something inherently wrong with me and that I will be better once I get over those problems. Don’t get me wrong, but I think that I absolutely have the right to feel offended and insulted if people are repeatedly telling me that there is something wrong with me, that I am diseased. I have never once walked out of a therapy session feeling better about myself- I have always felt more depressed and more insecure.
Recently, I have been truly happy for the first time in a very long time- my self esteem was quite high, I had made many new, close friends, and I really was enjoying life. Then my mom tells me that she was going to schedule an appointment with my therapist. I asked her why, and she said the usual reply, “to get your problems fixed, so you can deal with your issues better. blah blah blah.” I told her that I felt genuinely happy at that moment and did not need it. She did not listen to a word I said and forced me to go. The appointment went as usual, she kept telling me about how mentally diseased I was and said things like “oh my, I’m so sorry for you. It must be so hard for you” when I was completely fine. I told her that I was feeling happy and that I didn’t want to change that, and this is what pissed me off. She INVALIDATED my happiness, told me that what I was feeling wasn’t real because of these mysterious “problems” that I have deep down inside that prevent me from feeling anything but sadness and whatnot. Well, 1. I really do not like other people telling me what I’m feeling because my life is not anyone else’s, 2. it made me feel as if I’m not allowed to be happy and 3. it made me realize that the way the therapist treats me is probably a ploy to get my parent’s money, because she is always telling my mom about these imaginary problems that I have, and emailing her articles about psychological issues found in teenagers. Which brings me to 4: I absolutely will not tolerate anyone trying to exploit my depression for money.
I tried to tell myself not to let her influence my thoughts, but I walked out of her office feeling depressed again because she reminded me of all of the things that “need to be fixed” and of all of my previous problems that I had just begun to forget about.
I’ve done all that I can to convince her, nothing has worked. I’m afraid that if she listens to me she’ll just send me to another therapist.

Best answer:

Answer by Sugar
Wow , you have to show her you are okay.

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