Question by Iwanttolivenearthesea: Be my “therapist” for a while please? (about cancer sun guy) help!?
(Everyone will probably run away since I have written so much, but please help me)…

We have only known each other for a month,
we’re both so calm and sensitive & we enjoy each others company, we have a lot in common and not only personality-wise.
However he is very popular and has a lot of friends, many admirers.
None of us want a relationship, but this feels very unstable and I want more stability in my life.
He has said several times that he likes me (no, not love) and he’s always so sweet and affectionate when we meet, which we don’t do often…
We had contact every day before, now we don’t because he felt as if things were going too fast between us. He has said that he want to take things very slowly because he’s afraid of falling in love, because of previous hurt and hurting someone himself.
I had sex with another guy and he knows about it, he asked who and said that it felt weird knowing I had done it with somebody else… then he apologized the next day saying it was selfish of him.
It has only been 3 days now since we last had contact in any way… well, we had sex and before that when we just layed beside each other he said that it felt so good to be with me again… that he had missed me…
He’s so sweet and I’ve never met a guy with so much in common with me… but… he’s a charmer and I don’t trust him, I don’t think I ever will.
I’m worried he uses me, I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt in any way, I worry he’ll suddenly replace me with somebody else and act like I never existed.
He has said that most people like him because of his looks or talents, that I’m special because I only care about his inside…
I have met some of his friends – I’ve met his very best friend twice and both times this Cancer sun guy were affectionate and sweet with me. He had even told his best friend about me.
If I continue on seeing him sometimes I’ll be confused and not have much sense of stability,
if I stop seeing him sometimes I won’t get that feeling of being appreciated and liked.
I really appreciate his personality and that he’s artsy and I like our sex… I don’t know how to try to get some more trust for him and how I can try to ignore the fact that he’s so popular among girls… I don’t like the thought of what can be going on in his life…
When I started to get to know him I thought that I never wanted to be one of his admirers, I still feel that way… but I want what we had going on before he said it was going too fast, to continue.
I want to swim away like a little fish,
yet I also feel as if I want to swim towards him and let him embrace me.

I have no one to talk to about this, this is why I’m bugging you guys with it…
it’s so confusing since he said (when he told me things were going too fast) that he wanted us to continue as friends, yet the times we have met after that,
he has been kissing me and even touching or holding my hand…
last time.. I saw him look at another girl, usually he only cares about me…
I said “She’s cute” (she were KIND OF cute) and he said something like “Yeah, that’s why I’m looking”. Uh. Luckily for him he had said “You’re so beautiful” to me a earlier…
this guy will probably make me nuts.
I can’t help but wonder how he would react if I step back and tell him
that the whole thing is confusing me and that we should probably stop being all affectionate towards each other… but I don’t really want it to stop, hm… uh… but at the same time this whole thing between us is a bit frustrating as I’m worried I’m getting used and don’t know if he has something going on with anyone else.

He’s 20. He has Cancer sun (2nd decan) & moon, Leo venus & mars
and I’m pretty sure he has a Libra rising.
(I’m a Pisces with Taurus moon)

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Donna Fortney, Imago Relationship Therapist – How to Handle Your Inlaws! – www.ConsciousPartners.com – Donna Fortney, LPC and Imago Relationship Therapist – How to Handle Your Inlaws!