Question by grapesgum: Is it common for adoption workers to misuse the term “birthmother”?
I thought that “birthmother” was a term used by the adoption industry to refer to a woman who had surrendered her parental rights thereby making the child available for adoption. Yet I constantly see any expectant mother who considers adoption called a “birthmother”. Sometimes a woman who has chosen to parent is still called a “birthmother”.

I assume that adoptive parents learn the misuse of the birthmother term from adoption workers. In fact, I have read that some adoptive parents are very dismayed when they are told by their adoption worker that they MUST address their presentation letters with the term “Dear Birthmother”.

So three questions:

Is my understanding of the term “birthmother” correct? “A woman who has signed away her rights as a mother”

If so, why do adoption workers label all women receiving counseling “birthmother”? They still have the option of parenting, don’t they?

Is this misuse of the birthmother term intentional for the purpose of coercion?
Edited to add – There seems to be some confusion about the “birthmother” term. This question is in reference the term as defined by many adoption related sources including adoption.com – “Birthmother/birthfather. recently coined term, now widely accepted by all adoption triad members as well as by the general public and popularized by women and men who “gave the child life,” but whose offspring was adopted by other parents.”

Best answer:

Answer by Melissa
All’s birthmother means, is the woman who gave birth to the child. I am the birthmother to my child. Usually as you mention, it’s used to refer to the mother who has surrendered rights, but that’s not what it means.

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