Question by : Do you recognize your “Grief” feeling as “Fear”? Have you ever come to recognize HOW, and that it does happen?
According to C.S. Lewis, after the death of his American poet wife; JOY – he wrote into a journal dedicated to the experiences of how any kind of “death” affected one, even if one did not anticipate that GRIEF, Would, Could, feel so much like FEAR.

I came to the realization, of which he wrote, when my little brother died. And later on a very close friend.
I felt tremendous grief, yet it seemed, firstly accompanied by a great and trembling anxiety, which then became a FEAR so overwhelming that made me suffer, as if something hid in the corner waiting to fill me totally.
This fear was NOT Fear of my own mortality.
I have never experienced fear of death.
But the Fear translated itself to this, once it had totally settled into me.

I began to know, or realize that tragic change occurs. And that TRAGIC change, delivers one to a far less illusionary vision or perspective of Life.
The example for me, manifested itself in RUDELY AWAKENING that in Life there is NO guarantee, and that things we plan, can come asunder, as those plans of “mice and men”

I had remembered that half a year before, at the Thanksgiving table – all of us, the family, rejoiced and looked forward, even then making plans to the Thanksgiving Feast; Next!
And yet 5 months went by, and the death of my younger brother occurred.

It was at the next Thanksgiving table, that I was far more sober from wallowing myself in illusions, as if I could control what may happen to us at any moment, any interim from happiness to a devastatingly SAD reality, not even given the room toward being acknowledge, IT COULD VERY WELL HAPPEN, and interfere with our plans – through having preferred succumbing to live through illusion.

Therefore, When did Your GRIEF turned to feel like FEAR?

What was the event which broke through your totally believed plans you had made?

What was YOUR rude awakening, when FEAR interfered with your far-more-happy look at Life?

How have you felt after that?
Have you learned anything, alike a hot brand placed against your emotional flesh?

How, because of such experience having taken place – what have you learned – to remember – to practice???

Thank you very much!
Hello Mabe..thank you for your answer.I suppose one of the awful realities in life, from which we try to hide and deny is the death of our loved ones. My brother’s death was a devastating blow, because somehow I had been nurturing the illusion that my loved ones would (in fairness) go on and on for EVER??? Yes. That is what I thought…but losing my brother taught me a valuable lesson, which was: Life shows us impermanence, because it is indifferent, as nature is as well. I suppose I have been humbled by the truth about life and its’ reality, which I may not like, but IS!
Even though I am Buddhist I have chosen illusion, time after time – to lure me into a more compassionate existence – that is, while I live.
I suppose you are doing the same as I am. Dealing with impermanence, as to your 16-year old job. But that is the way to everything; one deals with IT, and becomes stronger in order to cope.
I can’t remember when it was that someone, I can not even remember gave me this prayer in o

Best answer:

Answer by Mabe
sorry about your feelings being hurt over the loss of your brother..and know that we live to die, and die to live! with that being said, i think the biggest shock and issue i have had to deal with was the recent job loss i had after putting in 16 years in a manufacturing corporation that i had planned on being my job until i retired, and only had to put in another 7 years to make that possible when they pulled the rug out from under me and forced me to take a buyout, and having to find another job, because i am way too young to receive a pension yet, and my buyout taxes me so heavily that i cannot use it because of the penalty on that, would take almost half of what they gave me, including the heavy tax they took from it to start with..and finding a job comparable is out of the question, because those types of jobs and wages are going..going..gone, as we speak now, with one disaster after another happening..and even has taken a year and a half to find a minimum wage job now, hard to get, because i worked for a union company, that couldn’t save my job, and company’s that are not union won’t hire me because i worked for a union (manufacturing wise anyway) so caught between a rock and a hard place..branded! and all i can say, is i have this note sitting on my desk that says:
GOOD MORNING!
This is God,
I will be handling
all of your problems today.
I will not need your advice.

I will not need your suggestions.
The only thing I will need from you is
your cooperation.
So, relax and have a great day!

(with that being said, i just was called for a waitress job the other day, and i am so thankful that God does get me the job, and if he doesn’t want me to work there, then he will take the job..or let me keep it). and i might not always understand the reason here, but when i get there i will know then..

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Dealing With Death : Dealing With Grief After Death – Grief is a process with no time limit or prescription that people must go through after the death of a loved one. Discover how to deal with grief after death with tips from a hospice community development director in this free video on dealing with death. Expert: Sandi Sunter Contact: www.TheHospice.org Bio: Sandi Sunter is the director of community development for the Hospice of the Florida Suncoast. Filmmaker: Christopher Rokosz

 

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